


Could We Be A Family?

by RedShirtWriter34567



Category: The Good Fight (TV), The Politician's Husband
Genre: Adoption, Aiden Hoynes wants to be a father again, Angst with a Happy Ending, Backstory, Crying, M/M, Married Life, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Child Abuse, Roland is scared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:33:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23250988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedShirtWriter34567/pseuds/RedShirtWriter34567
Summary: Aiden yearns to be a father again. Roland isn't so sure he's cutout to be a parent.
Relationships: Roland Blum/Aiden Hoynes
Comments: 45
Kudos: 33
Collections: Roland Blum/Aiden Hoynes





	1. Chapter 1

Aiden was acting strange. He had been since that business a few days in the park, where he'd looked after a four-year-old boy named Daniel, who had been left by his babysitter. Aiden had texted Roland to come to the park, where they had stayed with the child until his parents came and got him. Ever since than, Aiden had been acting different. He was more emotional, more sensitive. He got misty-eyed when he saw a family on the street or at a restaurant. He was also less interested in sex, which was really unlike him. Roland had tried on several occasions to ask what was wrong, but Aiden just brushed off his concern, saying that he was just tired. 

"I just can't glean anything from this," Roland told Maia on the phone on his way home. "He won't talk to me no matter how much I ask. He just keeps telling me he's tired or makes up another excuse."

"Are you sure he's not sick or something?" Maia asked. 

"I don't think so," Roland answered. "He acts different when he's sick too, but nothing like this. He just gets really tired and clingy."

Maia laughed. "Good to know. Is there something going on at his work? Or maybe he's dealing with a more personal issue."

"If it's personal, why wouldn't he tell me?" Roland asked, pulling into the driveway. Aiden's car was already there. 

"Sometimes people feel like they need to hide their personal problems," Maia explained. "Even from people they love. Just try asking him again, and if he doesn't answer, just stay with him until he opens up."

"Will that really work?" Roland asked, taking his keys out of the ignition. 

"It's worked for Amy and I," Maia replied. "Maybe it'll work for you guys too."

"Maybe," Roland mused, rubbing his jaw. "Thanks, Rindell."

"You're welcome, Blum," she said. 

They hung up, and Roland sighed, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. He stayed in the car for a minute before he grabbed his phone from the little hands-free thing on the dashboard and exited the car. He took a deep breath before he entered the house. It was quiet, and Aiden was nowhere to be seen. His jacket hung on the rack by the door and his keys were on the table. Roland hung up his own jacket and set down his keys.

"Aiden?" he called out. "I'm home."

No answer. He headed upstairs, thinking that Aiden was in their bedroom, when he heard crying coming from the room next to theirs, which had been Noah's old room. The door was ajar a little, so Roland approached and pushed it open further. His husband was seated on the bare mattress, holding some kind of toy in his hands. The whole room was empty and sparse save for the bed and the bookshelf against the wall. Roland felt his heart break at the sight of Aiden in such distress and strode across the room. He sat down on the bed next to Aiden, who jumped and looked over at his husband. Roland reached out and brushed away the tears streaming from those sad brown eyes.

"Sorry," Aiden mumbled, turning away and wiping at his eyes and nose.

"It's okay," Roland told him gently. "Is this why you've been so....emotional that last few days?"

Aiden heaved a sigh and placed the toy he'd been fiddling with aside. He scrubbed his hands down his face and through his hair.

"Partially," he admitted. "It's just that.....playing with Daniel in the park, laughing with him, brought me back to when Noah was young. He was so happy and loving, and everything was perfect." He wiped his nose. "Then he got older, and me and Freya became so busy. And I did those terrible things to her, and blew up our family. After the divorce was finalized, Noah wanted nothing to do with me. He never even visited me in the hospital after the shooting." He barked a bitter laugh. "But maybe I deserve his scorn."

"No, you don't," Roland said. "If Noah doesn't want to see you, that's his problem. Not yours."

"Maybe you're right," Aiden said. "But all I know is that I miss being a father. I'd give anything to be given another chance."

He rubbed his neck and looked Roland in the eyes. 

"Have you ever thought about being a father?" he asked slowly.

Roland was silent for a good two minutes, processing the question. He ran a hand through his curls and bit his lip. Aiden watched him carefully.

"It's never crossed my mind," Roland finally admitted. "I mean, look at me. I'm a mess."

"You were a mess," Aiden corrected. "But you're better now. You could be a great father."

"I don't have any experience with children," Roland said. "I told you that in the park."

"But I do," Aiden reminded him. "I could help you. Teach you what to do."

"I'm sorry, Aiden," Roland said quietly. "But I'm just not parent material. I've never even thought about having children. With anyone."

A hurt look crossed Aiden's face and he sighed. 

"Alright," he said. "I won't bring it up again."

He got up and walked out of the room. Roland followed him.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"For a walk," Aiden replied. "I'll be back later."

He grabbed his jacket and slid into it, then opened and closed the front door. Roland watched him go through the window and sighed.

"Damn," he muttered.


	2. Chapter 2

Aiden sighed as he sat down heavily on a bench in the park. He'd been going there a lot lately, not just to run around the track, but to think. He also liked to people-watch, particularly the families that were often there. It made him smile to see parents playing with their children, but it also filled him with a wistful sadness. He longed to be a father again. He hadn't realized how much he missed it until meeting Daniel a few days ago. Now it was all he could think about. Aiden sighed again and ran his fingers through his hair. The park was full of families today, and older children still dressed in their school uniforms, playing soccer a few feet away. Maybe that was a way he could fulfill his longing to be a parent, he thought. He could volunteer and work children, either as a sport coach or maybe at one of the schools.

"But will that be enough?" he asked himself. 

He slumped against the bench, hands shoved deep in his pockets. He thought about Roland's response, the shocked look on his face. the silence that followed before he answered. At least he'd answered honestly and hadn't tried to lie about wanting children. Aiden couldn't help but feel frustrated at his husband. And he also felt guilty for being angry with him. He understood why Roland would be apprehensive about being a parent, but couldn't he be willing to learn? 

"Maybe I can persuade him," Aiden murmured. "Show him how rewarding it is being a parent."

He snapped out of his reverie when something nudged his foot. He looked down at the soccer ball that had rolled across the grass toward him. 

"Excuse me, sir?" a voice asked.

Aiden looked up and saw one of boys from the soccer field watching him. He wore a black vest over a white dress shirt and tie, and he wore cleats instead of dress shoes. Aiden stood up and kicked the ball back toward him. The boy picked it up and nodded to him.

"Thanks, sir," he said, jogging back to his classmates. 

Aiden watched him go and got an idea. What if both he and Roland volunteered to work with children? It would give Roland more hands-on experience and prepare him for having a child. Aiden smiled at the thought. He just had to persuade his husband into doing it, and, hopefully, it would make him change his mind about being a parent. Aiden chuckled under his breath and headed home with a spring in his step.

.......................  
When Aiden returned home, he was shocked to see the kitchen table made up with lit candles, a red table cloth, and plates of Chinese takeout, still warm. Roland appeared in the doorway as Aiden closed the front door behind him. They stared at each other for a minute before Aiden crossed the room and entered the kitchen, where Roland offered him a glass of wine. 

"What's all this?" Aiden asked, accepting the glass.

"An apology," Roland replied. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so blunt about not wanting children. It's just never crossed my mind."

"It's alright, love," Aiden said, putting his drink on the table. "Having children is a huge responsibility, especially if you've never done it before."

"Maybe we could start small," Roland suggested. "Get a pet first. Like a fish."

Aiden laughed. "A fish? Really?"

Roland shrugged and smiled. Aiden chuckled and put his arms around him, stroking the hair at the base of his neck. Roland held his waist, staring into his eyes.

"What if we volunteered?" Aiden asked slowly.

"What do you mean?" Roland asked, quirking his eyebrows.

"Volunteering," Aiden clarified. "We could work with children, like at one of the schools around here. Or help out on a football team. What do you say, love?"

A hint of what looked like fear entered Roland's blue eyes and he stepped out of Aiden's reach. The younger man put his hands on his hips, watching Roland closely. 

"I'm sorry, Aiden," Roland said, his voice whisper. "I just.....I'm not good with children. Never have been. I'm not fit to be a parent."

Aiden felt his heart break, but he didn't let it show. He stepped closer to Roland and kissed him gently.

"It's okay," he said. "If you don't want to volunteer or have kids, I respect your decision, and I won't force you to do anything you don't want to."

"Really?" Roland asked. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Aiden said, his voice catching slightly. "I promise you it's fine. Let's eat."

"Alright," Roland said, still uncertain.

They ate and drank, even had sex later that evening, for the first time in about a week. Aiden seemed more relaxed after that, and fell asleep quickly. Roland stayed awake though, feeling that something was still wrong. It wasn't like Aiden to give up so easily. He was the most determined man Roland had ever met. And the most stubborn. The older man sighed and stroked his husband's mussed hair lightly. He looked peaceful now, but Roland felt incredibly guilty for crushing his dream like that. There was a real reason he didn't want children, but he wasn't willing to divulge that information to anybody. Not even Aiden.


	3. Chapter 3

A few days later, Roland was at work, trying to concentrate on the case files spread out across his desk. He scanned the typed paragraphs carefully, but his mind kept wandering to Aiden. The younger man had begun volunteering at one of the local academies in England as an assistant soccer coach, so he was gone a lot more than usual. When he did come home, he seemed happy, but his big brown eyes were often sad and downtrodden. Roland had tried asking him what was wrong, but Aiden just made up an excuse, like he was tired or had a lot on his mind. His smiles were more forced, like he was making a serious effort to do so. He was still willing to be intimate, but he didn't seem to be enjoying it as much as he did before. Roland couldn't glean anything from it.

"Everything alright, Roland?" someone asked, jolting him back to the present.

Roland looked up from the files and saw Lisa Coven standing next in the doorway to his office. She wore a blue business suit and flat-heeled shoes, her almond-shaped eyes dark with concern. She stepped further into the room with her arms crossed. Roland sighed and flipped the file closed, running a hand over his hair.

"I'm not sure," he admitted. "Things with me and Aiden are still kind of off."

"He's mad at you?" Lisa asked.

"He says he's not," Roland muttered. "But he just seems so sad. I thought his volunteer work would make him happy, but he comes home everyday with this sad look in his eyes. I ask him what's wrong, but he just brushes me off."

"What do you think is wrong?" Lisa asked, sitting down in one of the chairs in front of his desk.

"I think he's mad at me because I told him I don't want kids, and that I didn't want to volunteer either," Roland answered. "He says he accepts my decision, but I'm not so sure."

Lisa pursed her painted lips and tapped her fingers against her thigh. Roland leaned back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling. 

"Why don't you want kids?" Lisa asked after a minute.

Roland froze at the question, biting at his bottom lip. He spun his chair around to face Lisa, but kept his eyes trained on his desk. 

"I'm not parent material," he said quietly. "Never have been. I could barely take care of myself for a long time. How the hell can I be responsible for another life?"

Lisa studied him like she was trying to examine his soul. She had a knack for knowing when people were lying. a useful skill for an attorney. Roland was known for his smooth lying skills, so he was hoping he would be able to fool her. No such luck apparently, because after another minute of silence, Lisa smiled.

"You're lying," she said. "I know you are. Why would you lie about the reason you don't want children?"

"I have my reasons," Roland grumbled, feeling his face flush. "Besides, what Aiden doesn't know won't hurt him."

"You and I both know that's not true," Lisa told him. "How often do we see divorce cases because a someone lied about something?"

"Yeah, they lie about cheating or who gave who herpes or something," Roland retorted. "But never are those cases about not wanting children."

"Look, Roland," Lisa said gently, placing a hand on his desk. "If you keep lying to Aiden about the reason you don't want children, he's going to start to resent you. If that happens, that distance between you two is going to keep growing. And then you're going to be the first divorce caused by lying about wanting kids."

She stood up and left the room, returning to her own office. Roland watched her go before his eyes drifted to a photo on his desk. It showed him and Aiden at gala a few months ago, sitting at an ornately decorated table. Aiden wore a blue suit, his thick hair neatly trimmed and combed. His brown eyes gleamed in the camera's flash, his lips pulled into a genuine smile as he stared at Roland. The older man picked up the picture, tracing his husband's face. If Lisa was right, Aiden would never look at him like that again. Roland felt his emotions boiling up as he thought of the real reason he didn't want kids: because of what had happened to him as kid, and he wasn't eager to repeat the cycle. Tears burned at his eyes as memories flashed through his mind. He forced them away and put the picture on his desk again, then put his head in his hands, messing up his hair.

"Keep it together, Blum," he growled to himself. "Keep it together."

He took some deep breaths with his eyes tightly closed, shutting down the voices in his mind, the memories like poison gas invading his brain. When he calmed down, he decided to get some air and headed out of his office, took the elevator down to the lobby, and exited the building. He stepped out onto the bustling city street, the cool air calming him a little more. He picked a direction and started walking, hands tucked into his pockets, eyes on the ground. He needed a drink, but decided against it. Alcohol would only bring the memories into crisper focus. That was the last thing he needed. He walked past a school having recess, watching the kids run around in their uniforms, the boys dressed in sweaters and slacks, the girls in skirts and blouses. Roland smiled slightly at the sight, but his heart still ached from the brief anxiety. 

'As much as I love Aiden,' he thought, 'I just can't risk what happened to me happening to my kids.' 

He sighed and started walking back to his office, feeling a little better, but hollow, like a piece of his soul had been cut out.


	4. Chapter 4

Aiden watched the kids run through their drills, their red practice jerseys soaked with sweat. It was a cool but sunny day, so the head coach, Maxwell Gene, had thought they could practice outside instead of the school gym. The team was an all-boys team, ages fifteen to eighteen, from Costner Prep, an academy in Central London. Aiden had filled out the application online and had been accepted as a volunteer quickly. Everyday after work he drove over to the school to oversee the practice sessions and their drills. Today, after the drills, they were having a friendly game with another school, Whittington Academy. The team was due to show up any minute. Aiden smiled at the kids, but felt a hollowness in his chest.

He'd been hoping that volunteer work would help his yearning for children, but if anything it just made it worse. All he could think about was seeing his own kids out on the field, scoring and celebrating with their teammates. He came home everyday feeling hollow, like his heart had been yanked out of his chest. And as much as he hated to admit it, he was angry with Roland. He knew that the older man must be hiding something. Aiden could see it in his eyes. Resentment was growing between them, festering like an infected wound. It was what had killed his first marriage, and it looked like it was going to happen again. Aiden wanted so desperately to confront Roland, but didn't trust himself not to lose his temper. Why, after everything they had been through, would Roland lie to him now?

"Alright there, Hoynes?" Maxwell asked, bringing Aiden back to Earth.

"Yeah, sorry," Aiden mumbled, rubbing neck. "Kind of zoned out for a minute."

Maxwell raised a thick eyebrow. "Things still tense with you and your husband?"

Aiden sighed and scrubbed his hands down his face. "Unfortunately, yes. Very tense."

Maxwell hummed and twirled the whistle hanging from his neck. He was married as well, to an instructor at the school-the science teacher, Allison Maxwell. They had no children because she'd had a hysterectomy years ago, which was why they were both educators. 

"I take it you've tried talking to him?" Maxwell asked. 

"He won't talk to me," Aiden clarified. "He's lying to me about the reason he doesn't want kids. We've both been through Hell and back. How can he keep secrets from me now?"

"He's an attorney, Aiden," Maxwell reminded him. "Secrets and lies are his bread and butter. If he has his reasons for not wanting kids, maybe you should learn to accept that."

"Maybe," Aiden mused. "M'not sure if I can though."

Maxwell sighed and put his hand on Aiden's shoulder, squeezing lightly. 

"Well, I hate to tell you this, Aiden," he said, "but if you can't accept that, and if Roland really doesn't want kids, maybe he's not the partner you need."

He walked off when the bus from the other school showed up and blew his whistle, rounding the boys up. Aiden ran both hands through his hair and sat down on the bench with his head in his hands. As harsh as that advice had been, maybe Maxwell was right. But Aiden couldn't bear to leave Roland and destroy another marriage. He heard the boys cheering and hollering as the other team walked onto the field but didn't look up. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear the footsteps approaching him. A pair of red cleats appeared in front of his.

"Dad?" a boy asked.

That voice. It had been years since Aiden had heard it, and it was deeper, but he still recognized it. He looked up at the boy standing before him, dressed in a blue soccer uniform, his face twisted in shock. Aiden's heart stuttered to a stop in his chest.

"Noah?" he said.

He stood up slowly from the bench, staring at his son in person for the first time in several years. They stared at each other for a long time until Noah did something unexpected. He dropped his bag on the ground and wrapped his arms around Aiden in a hug. Aiden held back a sob and hugged his son back just as hard. A few tears did trickle down his face, and he quickly brushed them away when they separated. 

"It's good to see you, Noah," he said, clearing his throat. 

"It's good to you too, Dad," Noah replied with a smile. "How are you?"

Aiden chuckled. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

Noah laughed, and Aiden couldn't believe that this was his son. They sat down on the bench together, and Noah broke the ice first.

"I'm sorry I was so distant from after you and Mum split up," he said. "It was just a hard thing to adjust to."

"I know," Aiden said. "I'm sorry. But you seem better now."

"I am," Noah agreed. "Mum set me up with therapist that I see once a week, and the counselor at school helps me out a lot too. She convinced me to join the team, and I'm glad I did." He smiled at his father. "Now it's your turn. Mum's told me about some things that have happened to you, but I want to hear from you."

"I got re-married, as I'm sure you know," Aiden answered. "I now work as an adviser to the Parliament members, and I've been volunteering with Costner Prep for a few days now."

"Who'd you marry again?" Noah asked. "Roland, right? An American attorney?"

"Yeah, that's right," Aiden agreed. "We got married in Chicago months ago."

"I'm happy for you, Dad," Noah said earnestly.

"Thank you, son," Aiden replied, his voice cracking slightly. "It means a lot to hear you say that."

A troubled look suddenly crossed Noah's face, and he bit his lip. 

"What's wrong?" Aiden asked.

"I'm sorry I never visited you in the hospital after you were shot," Noah answered sadly. "It wasn't because I didn't want to see you. I was just scared that you didn't want to see me."

"Oh, Noah," Aiden said, putting a hand on his son's shoulder. "Of course I wanted to see you. I thought you just needed some space."

"I did," Noah lamented. "But not anymore. So I have a question about Roland."

"What?" Aiden asked.

"Can I meet him?" Noah asked.


	5. Chapter 5

The question took Aiden totally off guard. He was silent for a good thirty seconds, Noah watching him, before he cleared his throat and licked his lips.

"I'd love for two to meet," he told Noah. "But I'm not sure he'd be up to it."

"Why?" Noah asked.

Aiden sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Things are a little tense between us at the moment."

Noah raised an eyebrow and rolled his hand in a 'go on' gesture. Aiden rubbed his neck anxiously, unsure how to proceed. Eventually, he let out a tense breath.

"To make a long story short," he said, "I want to try being a father again."

Noah nodded, so Aiden continued.

"A part of me knows that having another a child wouldn't correct the mistakes I made," he said. "But I really want another chance. When I told Roland, he sort of panicked and told me he doesn't think he's parent material. I tried to ask him if he'd want to volunteer with me, but he didn't want to do that either. I can't help but be angry at him, yet I feel guilty for being mad at him."

"Is that why you're volunteering at Costner Prep?" Noah asked. 

"Yes," Aiden admitted. "I thought that just working with children would help, but if anything, it's just my yearning stronger."

"So, Roland doesn't want kids, but you do?" Noah said. "Has he given a more specific reason than him thinking he's not parent material?"

"No," Aiden answered. "But I can't help but think he's lying about something. I saw fear in his eyes when I first brought it up."

Noah rubbed his jaw thoughtfully. Maxwell blew his whistle, signaling the Costner boys to line up. Aiden tapped his fingers against his thigh, watching his son think. Finally, Noah spoke.

"Have you thought about how you want kids?" he asked.

Aiden froze, considering his answer. 

"I've been thinking about adoption," he explained. "But Roland is adamant about not wanting kids. I can't push him to do this of he doesn't want to. I'll just have to live with it."

His voice held a bitterness that Noah caught. He reached out and put his hand on Aiden's arm, squeezing lightly. Aiden touched his son's hand, grateful for the gesture.

"Maybe, if Roland sees you looking over adoption applications, he'll see how much being a father again means to you," Noah told his father. "Then he might come around."

Aiden mulled that information over in his head, biting his lip. Roland was a stubborn, boisterous, devil-may-care man, but where Aiden was concerned, he was a softy. Maybe if he saw how serious Aiden was about having children, he'd finally open up to the idea. 

"I guess that could work," Aiden mused. "But I'm not so sure. It could just lead to an argument."

"You won't know until you try," Noah said.

Aiden smiled at his son. Noah smiled back. A whistle blew, and they turned toward the field. The Whittington coach was signaling Noah to come over. Noah stood and picked up his bag.

"It was great seeing you, Dad," he said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go crush your Costner boys."

Aiden laughed as Noah ran across the field toward his team. Aiden leaned back on the bench for a second, drumming his fingers against his thigh. Noah's idea was good one, he had to admit. But it could also lead to a fight, and things were tense between him and Roland already. How much longer could things remain that way before it exploded? He was brought out if his thoughts when the game started, and he stood up from the bench to join Maxwell on the sidelines to watch the game. Noah was a striker on the Whittington team, and Aiden was amazed at his skill. He scored two goals in the first five minutes of the game. Aiden knew he should root for the Costner boys, but he found himself silently cheering on Noah and his team. His chest warmed with pride at seeing his son, happier than Aiden had ever seen him. When the game ended an hour later, Noah jogged over to Aiden before getting onto the team bus.

"Good game, son," Aiden told him. "I didn't know you played so well."

"Thanks, Dad," Noah replied with a grin.

His face was sweaty and flushed, his shorts and jersey grass-stained. He had his sports bag over his shoulder again, his hair tousled by the wind. 

"What are you going to do now, Dad?" he asked. "About Roland?"

"I don't know," Aiden admitted, putting a hand in his pocket. "I may just try to talk to him again, get him to open up."

"Mum told me that he's just as stubborn as you," Noah said. "Do you really think that will work?"

Aiden chuckled and put his other hand on Noah's shoulder. "I'll think of something, Noah. Thank you." He hesitated before saying his next sentence. "And I love you."

"I love you too, Dad," Noah replied.

They hugged, and Aiden fought back tears again. Noah pulled away and waved goodbye as he got on the bus. Aiden waved back and watched the bus vanish from view. Then he sighed and scratched his head. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't reluctant to go home. With the way things were between him and Roland, they were both walking on eggshells, each afraid to do something that would upset the other. Eventually, Aiden decided that he had to bite the bullet and head home. Hopefully he could look over some adoption applications if Roland wasn't there yet. He walked to his car and unlocked it, sliding into the driver's seat. He started it and began to drive home, his stomach tight with nerves, holding the steering wheel a little tighter than necessary.

Aiden was sitting at the kitchen table, typing away at his laptop when Roland came home later that evening. The younger man tensed, his eyes locked on his computer screen, which was open to the front page of an adoption agency in London. Hastily, Aiden clicked open a new tab when he heard Roland approach the kitchen. 

"Hey," Roland said, his voice quiet.

Aiden turned away from his laptop to face his husband. Roland was leaning in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest, his jacket and shoes already off. His blue eyes seemed sad and reproachful, like a timid animal. Aiden raised an eyebrow.

"Are you okay, love?" he asked gently.

"Yeah," Roland replied, rubbing his head, looking at the floor. "Just a long day."

There it was; the dismissing and the hiding, the slight look of fear crossing his face. Roland walked over to the liquor cabinet and poured himself some bourbon. He leaned against the kitchen counter and sipped it slowly. Calming his nerves, perhaps, Aiden guessed.

"How was your day?" Roland asked after a few minutes.

"It was...interesting," Aiden replied, leaning back in his chair. He licked his lips before continuing. "I saw Noah again."

Roland's eyes widened and he inhaled sharply.

"Wow," he said. "Aiden, that's great. What was he doing at Costner Prep?"

"He's a striker on the Whittington Academy team," Aiden explained. "Costner had a game with them today."

"So, how is he?" Roland asked. "Is he okay? Did you guys talk at all?"

"Yeah, we did," Aiden said. "We talked about a lot of things. He seems different now. In a good way, though. Happier." He hesitated again. "He asked to meet you."

Roland choked on his drink and coughed. He wiped his lips and stared at Aiden like he'd grown a second head. 

"W-what did you say?" he asked haltingly.

"I said that I'd love for you two to meet," Aiden answered. "But I also told him that things are little tense between us at the moment."

Roland's brow furrowed slightly at that. "Tense? I thought you liked volunteering. You said it was helping you."

Aiden groaned and stood up, running his hands through his hair like a madman. 

"I've been lying to you, for God's sake," he snapped. "Just like you've been lying to me!"

"What do you mean?" Roland demanded. "I haven't been lying to you! I told you the reason I don't want kids!"

Aiden slammed a hand down on the table. "No, you've been lying about the reason you don't want kids, and I can't for the life of me figure out why!"

"I'm not lying to you, Aiden," Roland said, trying to reel back his anger. "Honest, I'm not."

Aiden snarled and slammed his laptop shut. "You are lying to me. That's what lawyers do! Lie, bend the truth so that it benefits them, no matter who it hurts!"

He stormed out the kitchen and Roland followed him, grabbing his elbow to stop him.

"Aiden, please calm down and listen to me," Roland said. "There's something you don't understand."

Aiden turned and jerked his arm free, his eyes bright with anger.

"What don't I understand?" he growled, putting his face close to Roland's. "Do I not understand that you're just a coward who hides behind booze and snarky comebacks? For all I know our whole marriage is a lie!"

Roland's eyes flared with anger and he grabbed the front of Aiden's shirt, gathering it in his fists and shoving his husband into the wall. He put his face close to Aiden's, their noses brushing against each other. Aiden's expression went from angry to shocked at being forced into the wall.

"Don't you ever fucking say that again," Roland snarled, his breath hot against Aiden's face. "Never, ever doubt that I love you! I've told a lot of lies in my life, but I am never lying when I say that I love you!"

Aiden's eyes flashed with several emotions before he surged forward and kissed Roland hungrily, their teeth clacking together. Roland moaned into the kiss and tore Aiden's shirt open. Buttons flew and scattered across the floor. He pinched Aiden's nipples, heard his husband whine against their lips. Hands roamed and began exploring, ripping open shirts and vests, unbuckling and unzipping pants. Roland cupped Aiden's perfect ass in his hands and lifted him up off the floor. Aiden wrapped his legs around his husband's waist, hands tangled firmly in his curls. Still kissing, Roland carried Aiden upstairs and tossed him onto the bed, spreading his legs roughly. He prepared Aiden just as quickly, then swiftly entered him, pulling on his thick blond hair and making the younger man cry out in pleasure. Aiden was moaning and mewling, his cock red with blood, leaking furiously. Roland was panting into his neck, leaving marks across the pale flesh.

"Fuck, Roland, yes," Aiden keened. "Don't fucking stop, please don't stop."

The bed was banging into the wall, squeaking loudly with their movements. When they came, it was explosive, loud, sudden. Roland bit down on Aiden's shoulder as he filled his husband with warm come. Aiden's back and neck arched beautifully as his cock spurted white come across their bellies. They collapsed onto the mattress, panting and sweaty. Roland pulled out and used some tissues to clean them up, then they both fell asleep almost instantly.

When Aiden woke up, he was alone. He rolled over and sat up, rubbing his eyes. A dull ache pulsed through his body, his thighs a little sticky. The bed was messy and unkempt, the duvet kicked to the end. The bedroom door was ajar slightly, but the house quiet. Aiden swung his feet to the floor and saw the finger-shaped bruises on his hips, the bite marks on his inner thighs. He brushed a hand across his neck and felt a prominent bite just under his ear. He stood up, his legs a little wobbly, and walked over to his dresser and pulled on a pair of boxers, then slipped into a hoodie. He felt relaxed and sated. That had definitely been the most intense sex he'd ever had in his life. He fought down a smile as he headed downstairs and into the living room. It was dark, both outside and in the room, but the kitchen light was on. He walked into the kitchen and found Roland sitting at the table, wearing boxers and his red silk robe, his curls wild and tangled, his lips swollen and red. He had a faraway look in his eyes as he sipped a glass of bourbon.

"Roland, love?" Aiden asked, feeling guilt rising within him as he remembered the awful things he'd said during their fight. "I'm so sorry for the things I said before. I was angry and I didn't mean them."

"It's okay," Roland said, his voice thick. He looked at Aiden, his blue eyes sad and scared. "Come and sit down."

Aiden sat down in the chair beside Roland and faced his husband, feeling concerned. Roland took a deep breath and a drink of bourbon before looking Aiden in the eyes.

"I have something to tell you," he said.


	6. Chapter 6

Aiden felt the atmosphere in the kitchen shift. Roland's eyes looked scared and uneasy, his knuckles white on his glass. Aiden shifted in his chair and crossed one leg over the other. 

"You can tell me anything, love," he told Roland softly. "You always can."

"I know." Roland's left hand was shaking slightly. He poured himself another drink and downed it quickly. "It's just that...What I'm about to tell you I've never told anyone."

He licked his lips. Aiden had never seen him this nervous before, not even on their wedding day. He offered his husband his left hand. Roland took it, interlacing their fingers. Their rings clacked together, the stones on them flashing in the dim light. Roland took another deep breath and let it out slowly. He squeezed Aiden's hand.

"I'm afraid to have kids," he said, his voice quiet and hesitant. "I'm afraid to have kids because I'm scared I'll do to them what my folks used to do to me."

Aiden didn't like where this was going. He pushed his chair closer to Roland, squeezed his hand again. "What did they do to you, love?" His voice was gentle.

Tears flashed in Roland's eyes and he hurriedly brushed them away. He let out a shaky breath, his shoulders trembling.

"I grew up in New York," he explained. "Lived in this crappy apartment in the Bronx with my old man and my mom. They were both....messed up in their own way. My old man was a pill-popping, foul-mouthed alcoholic. My mom was just kind of....flaky, I guess. She took my dad's abuse and never did anything to help me. He used to..." Roland paused, his voice wavering. His hand was shaking again. Aiden covered it with both his own, kissing his knuckles. Roland sighed and continued. "He used to beat me for everything I did. Sometimes he used his hands, other times his belt. He'd throw bottles and can at me. I had to get creative to hide the bruises and the cuts, sometimes by wearing extra clothes. One time, when he broke my finger, I lied and said that I fell down the stairs. He used to tell me to lie about what happened to me, never the same thing twice."

Roland stopped talking again, looking away from Aiden, biting at his lip. Aiden's heart was breaking with each passing moment. He gently urged Roland to look at him again. A few tears had leaked from the older man's eyes down his face. Aiden reached out and brushed them away with his thumbs. 

"You don't have to continue if you don't want to, love," he whispered. 

"No," Roland said, clearing his throat. "I'm alright, and you deserve to know the truth about me."

Aiden nodded and waited, rubbing his back. Roland composed himself after a minute and continued. 

"For years he beat the tar out of me and my mom. I hated him so much, and I hated her for not doing anything. I spent as much time away from home as I could. Sometimes I even slept in bus stations or Central Park if the weather was okay. Then, one day, when I was sixteen, he was wasted and went nuts when he found me smoking on the fire escape. He dragged me back inside and started hitting me with his belt. That was the one and only night my mom came to my defense. She overpowered him and told me to run to my room, so I did. They were arguing and shouting, then there was a loud crash, my mom screamed, and then everything was quiet again. I waited a long time before I left my room and walked out into the kitchen. My old man was on the floor, alive and cackling like a nutcase. But my mom was....dead. He killed her. Stabbed her."

"Oh, my God," Aiden whispered. "Roland, I...I'm so sorry."

Roland nodded, wiped more tears off his face. "I ran away that same night. He was arrested and charged with her murder, but his lawyer, this complete bastard, got him acquitted by having him plead insanity. That was the day I realized I wanted to be lawyer, so I could put bastards like my own father in jail, where they belong. So I lived on New York's streets for a long time until I scrounged up enough money to go to school, moved to Chicago. For years I kept telling myself I was fine, but I wasn't. I was slowly turning into my old man, the person I hated most in the world. I figured that as long as I kept people at a distance, never fell in love, I'd be fine." He smiled for the first time.

"But then I met you, Pretty Boy," he said, caressing Aiden's cheek. "And you changed me, made me want to be better than what my past made me out to be."

Aiden managed a chuckle and a slight grin for a second. He stroked his fingers through Roland's beard. 

"There's still more, isn't there?" he asked tentatively.

Roland reluctantly nodded. "After I met you, and I started quitting the drugs and the excessive drinking, I realized that for the first time in my life, I was truly happy. We got married, and I'll admit that one of the reasons I was nervous about marrying you is that I would hurt you, physically."

"But you never have," Aiden reminded him. 

"You're right," Roland agreed. "But then, when you told me you wanted kids, to try and be a father again, I panicked. I panicked because I know the path of abuse. Children who are abused almost always end up abusing children of their own. And I feared and still fear that I'm capable of that."

"Roland," Aiden said, quietly but firmly. "Look at me, love. Please."

Roland flicked his blue eyes up to meet Aiden's brown ones. They were sad but still loving and gentle, wet with tears at hearing Roland's confession. 

"I love you, Roland Blum," Aiden stated sternly. "And I know you. I know that you love me, and I know that you would love any children you would have. And they would love you too. Because you are better than your father. You are not your father. You're you. The love of my life. Don't you ever doubt that."

Roland pulled Aiden into his lap, kissing him deeply. When they pulled away, Aiden touched the side of his husband's face tenderly.

"Thank you for telling me this," he said. "I know that wasn't easy for you."

"Thank you for listening," Roland replied. "It's...such a relief to have that off my chest." He paused for a second. "Now that we've got that put of the way, there is something else I think we should discuss."

"What?" Aiden asked, raising an eyebrow.

Roland reached forward and pulled Aiden's laptop over to them. He opened it up and clicked back on the window to open up the adoption agency application. 

"Can we fill this out together?" he asked, smiling at Aiden.

"Absolutely," Aiden replied with a smile of his own.


	7. Chapter 7

Roland anxiously puttered around in his office with the door closed. He was supposed to be looking over case notes, but he couldn't concentrate. It had been two months since he and Aiden had filled out an adoption application, and since he'd told Aiden the truth about himself, about his past. It was like a lead straitjacket had finally been taken off of him, letting him well and truly relax for the first time in years. Things between him and Aiden had finally been smoothed out as well. Now, after a social had come to the house, looked around, asked them both questions, performed background checks on them both, she'd told them that once everything had been looked over, it would take another few months to match them with a family putting their child up for adoption. Both of them had decided that they would prefer to raise a baby, so they had begun turning Noah's old bedroom into a nursery.

"I'll take time off from volunteering to help with the nursery," Aiden had told Roland. "I have more experience with building and putting things together."

"So, what should I do?" Roland had asked.

"Relax," Aiden had replied. "I know this new and kind of scary, but I'll be here to help you every step of the way."

So, they both maintained a normal routine. They both went to work everyday, and as soon as Aiden came home he began work on the nursery. Already the bed had been moved to the garage, replaced with a crib that Aiden had put together rather quickly. The carpet had been replaced, the wallpaper removed so that the walls could be painted professionally. Neither of them had told many people, though Aiden had told Freya and Noah, who were both shockingly excited and supportive of the news. Roland had yet to tell Maia or anybody else at work. He was still having a hard time processing what was happening. He was going to be a father, hopefully. He sighed and leaned against the wall in his office, staring out the window.

A knock at the door startled him out of his thoughts. "Roland?"

"It's open," he called, not looking away from the window.

He heard the door open but didn't turn around. The visitor closed the door behind them. 

"Everything okay?" Austin Gold, another lawyer in the firm, asked. "You rarely have your door shut."

"Yeah, I'm fine," Roland replied, turning around. "I've just got a lot on my mind."

"Trouble in paradise?" Austin asked, raising a gold eyebrow.

"No, nothing like that," Roland said, scratching his head. "Not anymore anyway."

Austin crossed his arms and leaned against the door. Roland hesitated. He'd be willing to go so far as to call Austin a friend, his only friend in the firm besides Lisa Coven. He sighed and ran a hand through his curls.

"Me and Aiden have finally decided to adopt a child," he announced, looking up at Austin.

The younger man's green eyes widened, his mouth falling open in shock. Pretty much the reaction Roland knew he'd get from anyone else he told. After a minute of shocked silence, Austin found his voice again.

"Wow, Roland, that's...great," he said. "Congrats."

"Thanks," Roland replied. "But we don't actually have a child yet. We're still waiting to be matched with a family."

"How long will that take?" Austin asked.

"The social worker told us another few months," Roland explained. "Two more at the latest."

"Hmm." Austin rubbed his angled jaw thoughtfully. He opened Roland's office door and stepped out. "Follow me."

Roland raised his eyebrows. "Where are we going?"

"Follow me," Austin beckoned, vanishing from view.

Curious, Roland followed. Austin led him through his through his floor and down the stairs a story to another part of the firm. He walked with a determined strut in his step, making Roland wonder where they were going. Finally, Austin stopped outside a closed office door marked 'Amber Nichols'. He knocked once.

"Who is it?" a woman's British accented voice asked.

"It's me, Austin," Austin said. "I've brought a friend. Can we come in?"

"Sure," the woman replied.

Austin threw Roland a knowing grin as he opened the door and stepped inside the immaculate office. Roland followed and saw a woman sitting behind a large desk. She had cropped blonde hair similar to Aiden's and wore a dress instead of a business suit. She looked up at them with eyes that looked green and blue behind her glasses. A smile formed on her painted lips.

"Well, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" she asked, taking off her glasses.

"This is Roland," Austin said, gesturing over his shoulder at him.

"Hi," Roland said. "Nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too," Amber replied. "What are you doing here?"

"I don't know," Roland admitted. "I just followed Austin."

"Roland and his husband Aiden are looking to adopt a child," Austin explained, raising a knowing brow at Amber.

"Really?" Amber said, looking at Roland. "Have you filled out an application already?"

"Yes," Roland answered. "We filled out an application, spoke with a social worker. Now we're just waiting to be matched with a family."

Amber twirled her bracelet idly. "I think I can help you with that."

"Really?" Roland asked. "How?"

She stood up from her chair, revealing her swollen belly. Roland gasped when she realized what she meant. Austin had a smug grin on his face.

"I've decided to put my baby up for adoption when it's born," Amber explained to Roland. "Me and my husband just can't take care of a baby right now. We filled out an application months ago but have yet to find a suitable family." She smiled. "Until now. I know you and Aiden are both wonderful men, and you will be great fathers."

Roland fought back the emotions welling up inside him. "How far along are you?"

"Eight months," Amber replied, placing a hand on her stomach. "The baby is due next month at the latest. I'll speak to my husband and if he says yes, you and Aiden can adopt the baby after they're born."

"Thank you, Amber," Roland said, his voice thick. "That means a lot."

"Would you like to know the baby's gender?" Amber asked. 

"No," Roland said. "I think Aiden would like it to be a surprise. Thank you, Amber. And you, too, Austin."

His co-workers both smiled at him, and Roland felt his heart flutter with anticipation.

Roland arrived home later that evening, fighting to keep a smile off his lips. He went upstairs after removing his jacket and setting his keys on the table. Aiden was in the nursery, adjusting the light fixture on the ceiling. The room was coming along together rather nicely. The walls had been painted in gentle shades of green and yellow, the carpet a pale blue. The crib had been set up in one corner of the door, along with a small dresser and changing table. Aiden looked over at his husband from the ladder he was standing on.

"Hey," he said. "What do you think of it so far?"

"It's perfect," Roland replied. "I love it."

Aiden smiled and stepped down from the ladder. Roland stepped over to him and pulled the younger man into his arms, kissing him gently. Aiden hummed against their lips and stroked the curls at the base of Roland's neck. 

"What's gotten into you?" he asked when they parted, raising an eyebrow. "You've got that look in your eye."

Roland smiled. "Sorry, it's just that I have some news."

"Do tell," Aiden implored. 

"I was introduced to a woman named Amber at work," Roland explained. "She's eight months pregnant but she and her husband can't really raise a baby right now."

Aiden was silent, his eyes hopeful. Roland continued. 

"She and her husband signed up to put their child up for adoption when it's born. They have yet to find a suitable family, until now."

"Until now?" Aiden echoed. 

"I spoke with her husband today at work," Roland said. "He reviewed our application and said that we can adopt the baby when Amber gives birth next month."

Tears gleamed in Aiden's brown eyes, dripping down his cheeks. Roland wiped them away gently.

"We're going to be fathers," Aiden whispered. "I can't believe it."

"Neither can I," Roland whispered back.

"I love you," Aiden said, kissing him again.

When he pulled away, he nuzzled his face into Roland's neck. Roland stroked his hair.

"I love you too," he whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm giving you guys the honor of name the baby, but I'm not telling you the gender until that chapter is posted! There's a post like this on my tumblr! Leave your name ideas there!


	8. Chapter 8

A month later, Roland was jolted out of sleep by the needy buzzing of his phone from where it was charging on the nightstand. He hardly opened his eyes as he clumsily reached out and picked it up, squinting at the screen. The clock on the phone showed that it was going on four in the morning. He was too tired to read the name, but he answered anyway. 

"Hello?" he asked, his voice quiet.

He listened, half-asleep, to the man on the other end, who sounded frazzled. However, he eventually said one thing that made Roland's tiredness vanish instantly. 

"Amber's going into labor," her husband said. "We're on our way to the hospital now."

"Oh, my God," Roland breathed. "What hospital?"

"London Medical Center," Amber's husband answered.

He hung up and Roland shifted to look at Aiden, still sound asleep beside him. The older man reached over and touched his husband's bare shoulder, shaking him lightly.

"Aiden, wake up," Roland said. "It's time."

Aiden whined and cracked open one sleepy brown eye. "What's it?" His voice was heavy with fatigue.

"Amber's gone into labor," Roland told him urgently. "We have to get to London Medical Center."

Aiden's eyes widened and he sat upright like he'd been jerked by a string. Both of them hastily got out of bed and began getting dressed, grabbing their phones, wallets, chargers. They headed downstairs and Aiden grabbed his car keys, firing off a text to Freya. Roland sent a message to Maia, telling to her to call him as soon as she got the chance. They both got in the car and Aiden started driving. He was focused on the road while Roland was shifting around anxiously in the passenger seat. The car stopped at a red light and Aiden looked over at his husband.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, I think so," Roland said. "It's just hard to believe it's actually happening."

The light turned green and Aiden drove on. "I know the feeling," he said. "When Freya went into labor with Noah, I was a wreck. I nearly passed out in the delivery room while holding her hand."

Roland laughed. "Really?"

Aiden shrugged and smiled. "Don't worry. We'll get through this."

They arrived at the hospital within fifteen minutes, found a space close to the entrance. Aiden parked the car and looked at Roland again. 

"You ready?" he asked.

"Yeah," Roland answered, letting out a breath. "Yeah, let's go."

The two entered the hospital and walked up to the reception desk. 

"We're looking for a woman named Amber Nichols," Aiden told the man behind the desk. "We're the family who are going to adopt her baby."

"The maternity ward is this way," the man replied. "Follow me."

Roland slipped his left hand into Aiden's as they followed the man to the Maternity Ward. There was nobody else in the waiting area, which had been cheerfully decorated with soft colors, various table crowded with magazines and toys for other children. Aiden and Roland sat down, and a minute after they did, another man appeared, wearing a gown over his street clothes: Amber's husband, Mark.

"I'm glad you guys are here," he told them. 

"How long ago did her water break?" Aiden asked.

"About fifteen, twenty minutes ago," Mark answered. "The contractions got bad kinda fast, so we rushed here."

"So did we," Roland said. "Thanks for the call."

"Of course," Mark replied with a smile. "You guys wanna be in the delivery room? Amber said that it's okay if you are."

Aiden almost answered, but then he stopped and glanced at Roland. He looked tense and nervous, biting at his lip.

"I think we're okay for now," Aiden told Mark. "You should get back. We'll wait out here."

Mark nodded and rushed off again. Roland sighed and ran a hand through his hair. 

"You could've gone with him if you wanted to," he told Aiden. "You've been through this before."

"But you haven't," Aiden countered. "I won't leave out here alone, nervous as you are."

Perhaps during different circumstances, and with anybody else, Roland would've denied being nervous. But in this case, he was willing to admit that he more than nervous; he was terrified. Aiden reached over, putting his arm around Roland, rubbing his shoulder while holding his hand. 

"I know exactly what you're feeling right now," he said. "You're nervous, excited, maybe a little nauseous."

Roland managed a breathless laugh while Aiden smiled. A few minutes later, they were joined by Freya and, amazingly, Noah. He wore his school uniform-slacks, dress shoes, a purple sweater underneath a black jacket with the Whittington Academy coat-of-arms stitched on it in gold. He had a messenger bag over his shoulder. Roland felt his eyes widened when he saw him. He had seen pictures of Noah, heard many stories, but had never actually seen him in person until now. Aiden stood up and hugged them both.

"Thanks for coming, both of you," he said. "It means a lot."

"Of course," Freya said. "What's the status?"

"Amber's water broke about twenty minutes ago," Aiden informed her. "That's all we know right now."

While Freya and Aiden kept talking, Noah walked over to Roland. The older man tensed as he did and slowly looked up at him. Noah had Aiden's eyes. 

"Hi," Noah said. "I'm Noah."

"I know," Roland replied. "I'm Roland."

"I know," Noah returned with a smile. He offered his hand. "It's nice to finally meet you, Roland."

Roland grinned and took Noah's hand, shaking it. He had a strong grip for a sixteen-year-old. "It's nice to finally meet you, too."

"Is it alright if we talk?" Noah asked. "I know this probably isn't the best time, but I have a lot of questions."

"No, not all," Roland replied. "In fact I could use a distraction right now."

Noah chuckled and sat down across from Roland, placing his bag on the floor. Roland rubbed his palms across his thighs, waiting for the questioning to start. However, Noah didn't start with a question. 

"Thank you for marrying my dad," he said. 

Roland froze. He hadn't expected that. "You're welcome, I guess," he answered. "I love Aiden very much."

"I know you do," Noah said. "I saw pictures of your wedding on his Facebook page. It had been a long time since I'd seen him that happy."

Roland smiled, feeling his face warm. "I have to admit I was expecting more...." He trailed off, struggling to find the right words.

"Resentment?" Noah guessed. "Anger?"

"Yeah," Roland agreed. "I was expecting a lot of that."

"I don't have a reason to be mad at you," Noah told him. "You make my dad happy. That's all me and my mum ever wanted for him after the divorce."

Roland let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "It means a lot to hear you say that, Noah. Thank you."

"No problem," Noah replied.

He stayed at the hospital for about ten minutes, asking Roland questions, before he had to leave and go to school. He said goodbye to both his father and Roland, telling them to send pictures of the baby. Freya also left to take him, but came back quickly. When the screaming started, Roland almost jumped out of his skin. The hair on the back of his neck stood straight up, chills racing up and down his spine. 

"Jesus," he muttered. "Now I'm really glad I'm not in there."

Freya laughed as she returned holding some coffee cups in a cardboard holder. "You'd probably handle it better than Aiden did. He almost fainted."

Aiden squawked indignantly as he took his coffee. "But I didn't pass out! Isn't that the point here?"

Roland playfully slapped his husband's shoulder, taking his own coffee. Amber screamed again, and he choked. God, that was unnerving. He sipped his drink, his hand shaking slightly. Aiden rubbed his arm. 

"Just try and relax," he instructed soothingly. "It's gonna be alright."

Roland nodded, sipped more coffee to steady his nerves. 

The screams continued for three hours. Roland and Aiden took turns pacing around the waiting room, running their hands through their hair. Freya instructed them to relax, but they couldn't sit still. Finally, at exactly nine in the morning, the screams stopped. Twenty minutes later, Mark came back out with a smile on his face. Roland, Aiden, and Freya all stood up in unison as he walked over.

"The baby's here," he announced. 

Aiden and Roland cheered and embraced each other, kissing happily. Freya hugged them both, congratulating them. 

"How's Amber?" Aiden asked.

"Tired, but she's okay," Mark answered.

"How's the baby?" Roland asked.

"Come see for yourselves," Mark said. "This way."

Roland gripped Aiden's hand again as they followed Mark toward a large window at the other end of the ward. There were several other infants on the other side of the glass, swaddled up warmly in blankets and hats. 

"Over here," Mark said, beckoning Roland and Aiden closer.

The two men walked over and peered through the glass. Mark pointed at an infant close to the glass, bundled up in a blue blanket. Aiden and Roland each put a hand on the glass.

"It's a boy?" Aiden asked.

"It's a boy," Mark confirmed. 

Tears leaked from Aiden's eyes. Roland was instinctively pushing his down. Then Mark spoke again.

"After he's been looked over, the nurse said they'd bring him back to Amber," he said. "You guys can come with us, so you can hold him."

"That would be great," Aiden said.

"Yeah," Roland agreed, feeling nervous all over again. 

"Her room's that way," Mark said, pointing back down the hallway. "I'll meet you there."

He walked away in other direction, and Aiden hugged Roland, crying into his shoulder. 

"I can't believe it," he said. "It's really happening."

"Yeah," Roland said, stroking his husband's hair. "It's really happening."

They headed toward Amber's room. She was laying in bed, dressed in a green hospital gown, her hair matted to her face with sweat. She smiled at them as they entered the room. 

"There they are," she said. "My son's fathers."

Roland chuckled. "Thank you again for this, Amber."

"It means a lot," Aiden added. "Have you thought of any names?"

"He'll be your son in a few hours," Amber told them. "You should be thinking of names."

Roland had a reply, but it was interrupted by the arrival of Mark and a nurse, wheeling in the baby inside a glass incubator. Mark reached in and pulled out the infant, which was already crying. He cradled the child gently and walked over to the two men. 

"Who wants to hold him first?" he asked.

"Aiden, I think you should," Roland said quietly. "I need to stop my hands from shaking."

Aiden studied him for a second before he nodded. Mark stepped over and handed Aiden the crying infant. Aiden made soothing noises as he carefully cradled the baby, his brown eyes warm and gentle, his lips pulled into a smile. Roland didn't think he'd ever seen a more beautiful sight. His husband cooed over the baby for a few minutes before he looked up at Roland.

"Do you want to hold him now?" he asked quietly.

"S-sure," Roland answered, wiping his sweating hands across his pants.

Aiden stepped over. "Hold your arms like mine," he instructed. "Cradle his head, let him see you."

He carefully transferred the baby into Roland's arms. The tears he'd been holding back fell as he held the infant close, heard him cry, felt how real and warm he was. 

"Hi," Roland whispered. "I'm Roland. One of your dads."

Aiden chuckled and rested against Roland's shoulder, staring down at the infant, which had stopped crying and was now looking up at them with eyes that looked both blue and green. A tiny hand reached out and grasped Aiden's finger, cooing softly. 

"He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," Roland whispered. 

"Yeah, he is," Aiden agreed quietly. "What should we name him?"

"I don't know," Roland admitted. "I'm sure we'll think of something."

Half an hour later, Aiden and Roland left the hospital, Aiden holding the baby boy who they had decided to name Anthony Ezra Hoynes-Blum.


	9. Chapter 9

The crying woke both Aiden and Roland. Both men stirred in their bed and Roland checked the clock, blinking blearily. Two in the morning. About two hours since Anthony's last feeding and changing. He looked over at Aiden, who was propped up on one elbow, rubbing at his eyes.

"Who's turn is it?" Aiden asked groggily.

"Mine, I think," Roland said. "Go back to sleep, Pretty Boy."

Aiden nodded and laid back down while Roland left the bed, slipping into his robe and tying the belt. He walked down the hall and into Anthony's nursery. He switched on the soft lamp on the changing table, illuminating the stuffed toys and books people and friends had already given them. Roland walked over to the crib, looking down at his infant son as he carefully picked him up, cradling him gently. Anthony was dressed in a soft blue onesie, his downy hair soft against Roland's fingers as he held him. 

"There now, little man," Roland whispered. "Daddy's here."

Amazingly, Anthony had stopped crying as soon as Roland picked him up. He stared up at Roland with blue eyes, wide and curious. Roland smiled at him, feeling warmth bloom in his chest. That feeling had been happening a lot during Anthony's first week at home. He'd never loved someone as much as he loved his family.

"Let's head downstairs, bud," Roland whispered. "You're hungry and Papa still needs to need to rest."

He left the nursery and went downstairs into the kitchen. He popped a bottle of formula into the microwave for a minute, then took it out. He sat down in one of the armchairs in the living room, turning on the lamp. He placed a blue cloth on his shoulder, then offered the bottle to Anthony. He instantly latched onto it, drinking greedily. Roland held him close, watching with pride as his son fed. A noise behind him made him turn around for a second. Aiden was coming downstairs, wearing only pajama pants, his hair tousled, his brown eyes soft and sleepy.

"I thought you went back to sleep," Roland told him. "You've been up more times than I have."

"I like watching you hold him," Aiden said, coming over and sitting on the armrest on Roland's left. "You're so could with him."

Roland smiled and looked back down at Anthony. He had stopped feeding and was looking at Aiden. The other man reached out, smiling.

"Hey, baby boy," Aiden whispered. "You've got Daddy looking after you, eh?"

Anthony cooed as he grasped Aiden's finger. Both men laughed softly. Roland placed the empty bottle on the table and carefully shifted Anthony in his arms, patting him gently on the back to burp him. Aiden had been teaching him many things about newborns-how often they fed and slept, how to burp them, how to change a diaper. Roland was careful to absorb the info, scared to screw something up. Anthony burped softly and cooed against Roland's shoulder.

"You did great," Aiden said. "You've been doing great."

"All thanks to you," Roland replied, looking up at him with a smile.

Aiden smiled and kissed him lightly on the lips. Anthony had drifted back to sleep, making soft noises as he cuddled against Roland's chest. 

"You gonna put him back in his crib?" Aiden asked. "He should be good for another few hours."

"I will," Roland said. "I just...want to hold him a little longer."

His voice was soft and awed. Aiden nodded and kissed both Roland and Anthony, then vanished up the stairs again. Roland stayed downstairs for a long time, about forty-five minutes, just watching Anthony. His little face, peaceful in sleep, his tiny hand grasping Roland's robe. A few tears welled in Roland's eyes and he brushed them away. He had no idea that this was the kind of love he'd been missing out on, that he'd still be missing if he'd never met Aiden. Eventually, he left the living room and headed upstairs. He gently placed Anthony on his back on the crib, then switched off the lamp. He went back to the bedroom and found Aiden sound asleep, his face half-pressed into the pillow. Roland took his robe off and crawled into bed again, wrapping an arm around Aiden's waist, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck as he fell asleep.

"Is everything okay, Aiden?" Maia asked. "You look exhausted."

"Everything's great, Maia," Aiden promised. "It's just been a hectic week."

It was early in the morning, and he was downstairs in the kitchen, having just returned from his run. He'd tried to tell Roland that he'd be find not jogging for a few days, but the older man insisted. And in all honesty, Aiden didn't mind letting Roland have quality time with their son. The more time he spent with Anthony, the less nervous he'd be around him, about his blooming parenting skills. Aiden had come home from his run and found Roland's phone on the table, Maia attempting to video chat.

"It's nice of you to call," Aiden said. "I answered cause I found his phone down here on the table."

"No problem," Maia replied. "I know he sent me a text a while ago to call him, but this was the first free time I've had in awhile."

"He understands," Aiden told her. "We've been busy."

"And tired, by the looks of things," Amy Breslin said, coming into view. "Have you guys not been sleeping or something?"

"Yes," Aiden replied. "And I'm about to show you why, but first I need to ask, are you both at work?"

"Yeah," Maia answered. "Why?"

"Gather Diane and your other co-workers," Aiden instructed. "Quickly."

Maia stood up and opened up a door, leaning out of it. 

"Hey, guys, Blum's husband is on video chat," she called. "He has something to show us!"

It didn't take long for Diane, Lucca, and some of the others Aiden recognized from the wedding to come into view. 

"Perfect," Aiden said. "You're gonna love this." 'Or freak out,' he thought as he headed upstairs. 

He walked to Anthony's nursery and pushed open the door, showing Maia and the others around the room. 

"Oh, my God, you guys have a nursery now?" Amy exclaimed. "Does that mean you're about to have a baby?"

Aiden fought down a laugh and didn't answer as he walked out of the nursery and toward the bedroom. The door was closed, so he quietly pushed it open, revealing a sight that he had already taken numerous pictures of: Roland was stretched out on his back in their bed, sound asleep, with Anthony, also asleep, snuggled against his bare chest. One of Roland's hands was spread out on their son's back, holding him close. Aiden quickly turned down the volume on the phone as Maia and the others started cheering and freaking out at the same time. He stepped out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind him. He turned the volume back up as Maia and her co-workers composed themselves.

"You guys actually have a baby?" Maia exclaimed, her eyes wide. "How long ago?"

"A week," Aiden answered. "We adopted him from a woman named Amber at Roland's work. The message Roland sent you he sent the morning she went into labor."

"What's his name?" Amy asked, wiping tears off her face.

"Anthony," Aiden replied. "Anthony Ezra Hoynes-Blum."

"Jesus, it's like I'm in the freaking Twilight Zone," Maia murmured, scrubbing her hands across her face. "Congratulations, Aiden."

"Thank you," Aiden said. 

"FYI, we'll be sending a care package," Diane told him. "And send us pictures."

"I will," Aiden promised. "I have to go now, though but I'll send Maia some pictures to show you guys."

The people of Reddick, Boseman, and Lockhart all waved goodbye as Aiden ended the video chat. He walked into the bedroom again and took another picture, sending it out to Maia. He'd already changed his phone's wallpaper to be the same picture. He put the phone aside and sat down on the bed carefully, not wanting to disturb his husband and their son. Roland's breathing was soft and even, his chest rising and falling steadily. Anthony was cooing in his sleep, the sound making Aiden's heart mushy. 

"My boys," he whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I can squeeze a few more chapters out of this, eh? What do you guys think?


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter, you guys! I hope you all enjoyed it! Thank you all so much for reading and supporting it!

Aiden was downstairs on the couch, stretched out on his back, one arm tucked under his head. Anthony, wearing a green onsie with a frog on it, was cuddled against his chest, fast asleep. It was late in the afternoon, and he was taking over for Roland, who'd been up with Anthony most of the morning. He was currently asleep upstairs in the bedroom, had been for about two hours. Aiden was grateful for both his husband getting some sleep, and for getting to spend some time with their son. Anthony was actually a fairly calm baby. All he did was cry and sleep and suckle. He made a soft noise in his sleep and cuddled closer against Aiden's sweater-clad chest. Aiden smiled and kiss the infant's head.

"I love you so much, Anthony," he whispered.

The baby cooed in response. Aiden stroked his back very gently. The onsie had been one of the many gifts from Freya and Noah, who had been over to visit a little while ago. Freya mostly given them baby clothes, while Noah had used part of his allowance to buy some stuffed animals and books. Aiden had been incredibly touched at the gestures. 

"You guys didn't have to do this," he'd told them as he examined the clothes Freya had bought-onsies in various colors, bibs, small shoes.

"Of course we did," Freya replied. 

"Yeah, how often will I get to buy things for my brother?" Noah asked, placing the stuffed dinosaurs and bears he'd bought on the shelf. 

Aiden was still amazed about how quickly Noah had proclaimed himself Anthony's brother. Most kids probably would've needed coaxing.

"Could I hold him?" Noah had asked after he'd unloaded the toys.

"Of course," Aiden answered.

He'd carefully passed Anthony over to Noah, who cradled him carefully, smiling at him. Anthony had seemed to like him, as he cooed and gripped Noah's shirt collar in his little hands. Aiden's heart had melted at the sight, while Freya had fanned at her eyes to stop the tears.

"How's Roland been doing?" she'd asked.

"Great," Aiden replied. "He's really been trying hard to be good and bond with him. He stays up with him more than I do. It's why he's sleeping right now."

"Tell him we said hello, yeah?" Noah asked, as Anthony suddenly began fussing.

"Of course I will," Aiden promised.

Noah handed Anthony back over, and Aiden held him gently, rubbing his back.

"Easy now, love," he said. "Papa's got you."

"We should be going now," Freya said. "Take care, Aiden." She patted his arm, then kissed Anthony's head. "Goodbye, Anthony."

Noah hugged Aiden, then shook Anthony's little hand gently.

"See you later, bruv," he said.

Aiden walked them out and then settled onto the couch, singing quietly under his breath until Anthony fell asleep. He didn't turn the TV on or fiddle with his phone. He just wanted to bask in the moment, feeling the soft, warm weight of Anthony's small body against his chest. Aiden was suddenly jerked out of his thoughts by Roland coming down the stairs, wearing just a button-down shirt and pants. His curls were messy from sleep, but he smiled as he entered the living room.

"Hey," Aiden greeted quietly. 

"Hey," Roland replied, leaning down over the back of the couch to kiss him. When they parted, Roland stroked Anthony's back lightly. "Is he okay?"

"Yeah," Aiden answered. "We were upstairs in the nursery with Freya and Noah. They left a little while ago, but they say hello." He reached up and carded his fingers through his husband's beard. "How do you feel?"

"Better," Roland replied, kissing Aiden's palm. "Thanks for taking over."

"Of course," Aiden replied. 

They smiled at each other and kissed again. The doorbell rang suddenly, startling them. Luckily, it didn't wake Anthony, who simply moved in his sleep. 

"You want me to get that?" Roland asked.

"Nah, I'll get it," Aiden said. 

He gently picked up Anthony off his chest and handed him off to Roland, who cradled him against his shoulder. Aiden stretched and got up from the couch, then walked over to the front door and opened it. There wasn't anybody there, but a package was sitting on the porch. Aiden picked it up and shut the door.

"What is it?" Roland asked.

"The shipping address says it's from Chicago," Aiden answered. "It must be from Maia and the others at your firm. Diane had said that they'd send a care package last week."

"That's great," Roland said. "I'll go put Anthony in his room and we can open it together, eh?"

"Sure," Aiden said with a smile.

Roland grinned back and went upstairs, while Aiden took the package into the kitchen and set it on the table. Roland came back downstairs and into the kitchen. Aiden grabbed some scissors from the drawer and used them to slit open the top of the box. Roland reached out and opened the flaps, revealing the items inside-clothes, including a small Chicago Bulls jersey, baby books, a pack of pacifiers, a bottle decorated with ducks, a soft blue blanket, and two stuffed animals-a red teddy bear and a black-and-red snake with sewn-on eyes. There was note folded on top of the items, which Aiden picked up and unfolded to read aloud.

"'Congrats, you guys. We all know how much you love each other and how much you'll love Anthony. You two are going to make great fathers. Keep us posted and good luck with everything-from your friends at Reddick, Boseman, and Lockhart.'"

"Wow," Roland said. "I can't believe they went through all this trouble. After everything I did."

"You've changed, Roland," Aiden said, putting the note aside and wrapping his arms around his husband. "They see that you're a different person now-a husband and a father."

"Yeah," Roland whispered, reaching up to stroke Aiden's cheek. "I just never dreamed that I could have this, have a family, considering my past."

"Nobody's past has to define them, love," Aiden told him. "Not if they don't let it."

"Thank you, Aiden," Roland said, looking into his eyes. "I love you."

"I love you too," Aiden replied, bringing their lips together.

Roland sighed into the kiss, pulling Aiden closer. Aiden's hands stroked his chest, along the scar in the center. Roland started to pull at the hem of Aiden's sweater, only to be interrupted by Anthony's cries from upstairs. Both men sighed and laughed as they separated.

"We'll pick this up later," Aiden said with a heated look before leaving the room.

Roland laughed again and crossed his arms. "I'm gonna hold you to that."


End file.
